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How do you get your teens to open up to you?
By Mother | November 4, 2007
Do you have a close relationship with your teen? Depending on your relationship with your teen, getting your teen to actually open up to you can be both a terrifying and pleasant experience. Some teens take a while to warm up before they even decide to open up to their parents while some are just open and willing to discuss what’s going on in their own little world. If you are faced with a challenge of getting your teen to have an open communication with you, here are some tips that you might find helpful.
Don’t be afraid to talk about teen stuff - more often than not, teens are afraid to talk about what’s really happening in their life. Sometimes, your teen may be more open with dad than you. It’s all right - as long as they communicate with a parent and both parents talk to each other about these issues. What has helped me is starting them young. I mean, start talking to them about what is important to them while they are still little. Once the trust is there, they will always come to you if they need to talk and they will not hesitate to open up. Be open to them, respect what they have to say and offer advice. I find that starting a conversation while having dinner is a good way to get kids to open up whether they are young or teens. This has become one of our family traditions.
Know that teens have their own view of things. They react differently about issues going on in their lives. It may be different from how we would react but it does not mean that it’s wrong. Sometimes, we may even think that they are over reacting and I’m sure they are thinking the same of us. The important thing is to keep the communication line open - that way, they do not hesitate to approach us about anything. I’m sure both parent and child will feel good about having these types of conversations.
Don’t rush you teen. Let them take their time in opening up to you. Just let them know that you will always be there for them. I find that this helps a lot because they would not keep secrets. Even if it feels awkward, start the conversation between the both of you. You’ll be surprised how enjoyable it could be to have an actual conversation with your teen about their life, friends and how they are feeling.
If, however you feel like your teen is just slipping farther and farther away, it may be time to consider professional help. You may want to seek family counseling. Make sure too that you know who their friends are, where they hang out, what they do and keep an open communication with their friends. Know that each teen is different in how they deal with situations.
As a mom, there are so many things that we have to deal with. If we do not deal with communicating with our children early on, then, we may be faced with bigger challenges later on in life. Take a few minutes each day to connect with your child - it will really establish a good relationship between you both. You and your teen can learn from each other - develop each other’s confidence in dealing with situations in life - and have a closer, loving relationship.
Topics: General ChitChat |
November 6th, 2007 at 3:50 am
I agree that it’s important to maintain communication with your child. How do you balance keeping those channels open and dealing with situations that your child reveals to you that may be dangerous or that other parents may need to know? http://www.esablog.com/2007/11/parents-of-teenage-daughterswhat-would.html#links
November 11th, 2007 at 2:38 am
My son and I communicate constantly, although half the time I think he and I speak different languages. For example, when I picked him up from the school’s Homecoming dance, I asked how his first high school dance was. “It was good.”
I probed a little deeper with “Did you get to dance?” “Yes.” Now I’m excited. “With whom?”
“Everyone.”
I guess he was either a busy boy, or only participated in line dances. Thanks for your advice on this. As a single dad, I constantly need input from mothers online!